I Want
to dash this glass to the ground
to revel in its destruction
to cry over the spilled wine
I do none of these things
instead stand in my backyard
howl at the moon or
maybe at the fear
that keeps me planted but
those roots have withered
from too much neglect and
silently I float away
on the wind
5/1/24
Quietly, The Dawn
The only one awake
on this sleepy morning street:
speedy lizard seeking shelter
from the coming desert heat.
As quietly, the dawn
now pries open what remains
of deepest night, as birds awaken
to continue their refrains.
Then finally I rise,
though hesitant to interrupt
all the sacred sounds of nature –
human folly, too abrupt.
On slippered feet I shuffle
from my place of sweet repose,
another day I have been granted –
what it may bring, I shan’t suppose.
5/3/24
The Things We Love
*after Robert Frost’s poem Hyla Brook
*We love the things we love for what they are.Of people, though, I cannot say the same;
for there are some I love for what they’re not.
“He’s not an alcoholic or a cheat,”
I hear myself defending once again
when asked why he won’t treat me like his queen.
I guess we grow up living what we’re taught:
what’s shown is more important than what’s real.
Appear to be a good girl at all cost!
Drummed into me from such an early age,
the hidden message lingers even still:
that who I am inside is bad, because,
this “good girl” on the outside isn’t me.
I don’t know who she is and never did!
And like a snake that sheds her outgrown skin,
The me who’s real is stepping out at last.
5/4/24
Running Away
I
I want to write a running away poem
except I haven’t done it yet,
the running away. So what would I
say? Would I write angry lines,
jagged reasons from inside my pain,
of why I want to?
Or hopeful lines, of what I’d want
my life to be once I’m out there?
Maybe I’ll just toss them all in a bowl,
mix them up and dump them out
and let them lay where they land.
II
(Imaginary bowl filled with lines,
flipped and dumped onto the page.)
III
Free is what I dream I’d be.
But some wise man once said
“Wherever you go, there you are”.
Would my prison follow me? I
wonder. I’m pissed!! I know I’m meant
to be more, to do more,
than what I sit here
day by day, doing and pretending to be,
just to keep peace. But all the same
How long can I (whoever I am)
continue to live in this shadow?
This shadow that constantly dims my light
This shadow that wants to consume me
This shadow that I’m still afraid to look at
And there it is.
Always it’s myself, holding me
back. Can’t blame anyone else,
much as I’d like to, and it’s true.
I can’t run away
from me.
5/5/54
Broken
Broken is really what I am and
you always said I’m not but you
are wrong because I am broken
I am very broken
in all the ways anyone can be
Broken because I’m afraid of myself
Broken because I cannot BE myself
Broken because I’m afraid of reaching out.
5/6/24
Window To My Soul
One day I lit an imaginary candle
in the window to my soul.
I thought it would show you the way
so I wouldn’t feel so alone;
it didn’t, though. Instead,
I began to see my shadow.
That shadow, I learned
had been running my life and
it was time to get to know it.
And as I did I slowly realized,
I’ve no imaginary candles left to light.
5/6/24
Oblivescence
I don’t know how to do it.
You exist in every part of me:
forgetting you, I’d also lose
myself.
5/7/24
Whale Song
Watching you today
I couldn’t hear your song
over thundering ocean waves,
but I felt it. In my bones,
I felt it.
Different species:
you inhabit oceans,
I dry land,
yet somehow, we managed to be
the same.
Your freedom expressed through song,
mine through my words, and
together we formed
a perfect harmony,
an invisible bridge.
Yes, from rocky jetty where I stood
to deeper waters where you breached:
for one magical, sparkling moment,
I saw you and you saw me and we
were one.
5/10/24
Sleep
tired from travels
my pillow is calling me
ready for some sleep
5/12/24
Perspective
Such haunting beauty in decaying pilings.
My spirit, drawn to this vision:
So much more than just rotting wood.
A life well-lived, their purpose long ago served –
they persist through the years, slowly worn away by wind,
by waves, by time.
They show us that, despite completing their original purpose,
they’ve still more to give, more to say,
more to show. And so, reverently
I took what they offered, in order to give.
I listened to their silence, in order to hear.
I looked for their beauty, in order to see.
And I walked away changed,
a strengthened belief in my soul
that our Creator has not abandoned us at all.
5/13/24
Proxemics
Personal space is something
people have different needs for.
Probing questions from strangers
perplex me; I want to hide.
Population expanding,
precious few places I can!
Peace, a rare commodity.
5/14/24
Destiny
If we do decide to meet, what then? Will
it be comfortable, like it used to be?
I’m a little worried, you know. But still,
I want the chance to have a good goodbye.
We owe ourselves that much; this to fulfill
the destiny set in motion by this work.
Let’s take our cue from the lovely daffodil,
beautiful symbol of hope and positivity:
I know that both of us possess the skill.
5/14/24
Destiny
Don’t try to tell me that there’s no such thing.
You know there is, there simply has to be!
I cannot bear the thought of floating ‘round
without some rhyme or reason for my life.
I need to know that somewhere deep inside,
the reason I’m still here is burning bright –
to light the path by which I’ll find it there.
I’ve lost my way and stumbled in the dark,
too many times before to even count.
I don’t know anything with certainty
except for that what knowing lives inside
still hides from me! And as I’m growing old,
it matters less that I might never find
the be-all, end-all reason for my life.
I’ll be content to live it from my heart,
and let that be, oh let that be, enough.
5/15/24
Thus And So (A Golden Shovel)
~after Robert Frost
Love to some, perhaps, is a
set commodity: but to a poet
well, I suppose I would
turn my thoughts to a-wishing
of what I want love to be – then go
foolishly out into the world and
of course with my heart bold upon my sleeve – hoping he
(the object of my affections) finally wished
upon a star that somehow love
would find us together. If only it were
true, that wishes were horses and thus
we could ride! My heart believes we would and
says, let it be so.
5/16/24
Voices
*after Edgar Allan Poe, from ‘The Sleeper’
*It was the dead who groaned within.
Who, when they lived, had voices echoing forth
into the night: careening darkly,
mercilessly, between towering canyon walls.
Eerily seeking, forever seeking.
Terrifying in their innocent need as they call me.
Yes, they call me now to their moss-covered tombs,
voices now a harmony of woeful song
driven deep into the night, deep into the night.
Moon cannot withstand this depth, so with a lonely sigh
turns off Sun’s reflection and darkness, darkness moves,
slithers unhurriedly down: a dismal blanket upon the Earth.
5/18/24
Longing
*after Robert Frost from “Escapist – Never”
*All is an interminable chain of longing.
Or let me say all was, before we said goodbye.
You always did say that I would know
when it was time; and I never believed you until
that time came and indeed, I knew.
I knew with a certainty stronger than any I’ve ever felt;
I knew in my soul, in my heart, in my head.
No tears, no sadness, no in-person goodbye required:
the only closure I needed was to hear in your voice
that there are no bad feelings between us. You know me;
that I would not be able to walk away until I knew
we were okay. Because for a while there, we were
definitely NOT okay. But I’ve done a lot of work since then.
I can say with confidence now, that
it is done; and it is good.
5/19/24
Shadow
Scary, sometimes shaky,
sometimes steadfast.
Superstitiously serious:
spiritually, supernatural.
5/21/24
Heart With Feeling (A Blitz Poem)
follow your soul
follow your heart
heart beats strong
heart always knows
knows what it needs
knows what it wants
wants if it’s good
wants if it’s not
not so smart
not so dumb
dumb is relative
dumb is mean
mean what you say
mean what you think
think you’re not enough well
think again
again train your mind
again let it flow
flow with feeling
flow with love
love always wins
love conquers all
all fair in love
all fair in war
war breeds hate
war kills life
life starts anew
life goes on
on to the future
on from the past
past is over
past is done
done with me
done with you
you don’t see it
you don’t feel it
it doesn’t wait
it doesn’t watch
watch out for space
watch out for time
time waits for none
time runs away
away too quickly
away too far
far is a concept
far is a feeling
feeling is free
feeling is awakened
awakened
free
5/21/24
But Evil Things
*after Edgar Allan Poe, from “The Haunted Palace”
*But evil things, in robes of sorrow,
slither back into my dreams –
on nights the moon no light will borrow,
in dark and dreadfully set regimes.
I sense their malevolent, fiendish schemes
as they rattle their chains to bestow me fright.
Grievous injurious iniquity teems
in haunting continuing through the night!
I pray I will wake, when at last the Light
breaks through the clouds, to greet the morrow.
Such hellish visages cease their flight:
so ends their Mephistophelean tableau.
5/22/24
Dreamless Shores
*after Edgar Allan Poe, from “The Raven”
*Darkness there and nothing more
awaits my keeping, for in my sleeping,
dreams refuse to come ashore.
Dreams that used to leave me weeping
I now abhor, where once before,
I welcomed all without peacekeeping.
I wonder when I closed that door?
I miss the reaping, from psyche sweeping –
for surely, somewhere, there must be more!
And watching, hope to catch them creeping
to end this war, I must implore
they return to me for my safe-keeping.
5/23/24
We Both Know Why
We both know why
I said goodbye,
I cannot lie.
I couldn’t justify
just standing by
to pacify
and satisfy
my need to comply.
I did try
to learn to fly.
But by and by,
had to testify –
time for goodbye.
5/24/24
Shadows
*after Edgar Allan Poe, from “Ulalume”
*Ah, what demon has tempted me here?
To wander, to ponder, such things as I fear?
I walk through the night like a ghost on the moors
an impossible visage my reflection abhors.
But safe within darkness now holding my heart,
for precious safekeeping: my only real art.
And walking in shadows is how I stay numb;
can’t let myself feel, for fear I’ll succumb.
Instead in the quiet of moonlit night –
I scribble my verses to bring in the light.
5/25/24
Numinous
Smoke-like clouds drift across the moon
encircling her silvery light –
waiting for her to bring to this night
the meaning of her ancient rune.
A song of old, forgotten by time,
lying dormant in a passionate soul
until the moon releases her control,
by her otherworldly design.
And I, dreaming upon this earth
small and fragile in current form,
follow her melodic and beautiful storm
toward psychological rebirth.
5/26/24
Done
Today I really just can’t.
All I want to write about is you –
but at the same time
I’m so absolutely done with that subject,
that I just
can’t.
5/28/24
Summer
Sunrise brings the coolest time of day, when
serene breezes gently touch the trees.
Shadows fade back into the night,
softly, unnoticed, to await their turn.
Secure in nature’s hold upon my heart, I
slowly meander back toward my home –
silently enter, then sit down again to write.
5/30/24
Grand Canyon #1
river so graceful
flows gently past my camp as
I watch from my tent
5/31/24
Karen McCaskey 